it's summertime

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. Zephaniah 3:17

I remember this time last year.  my heart was 'empty' feeling and my mood very down for at least 60 days.  and today I feel it looming.  graduation was this weekend.  when you work at a university that's buzzing all the time and you develop real relationships, there is a deep void when they move on.  it's not even just the feeling of people leaving.. it's the crash after the job is "done".  I actually wouldn't trade this feeling - because I know I have it because of my investment.  but I do NOT want to spend the summer wallowing (no better word for it) in my depression.  I want to enjoy my time off.  accomplish some things at home.  develop an exercise program that works for me.  love my family.  strengthen my marriage.  take care of the things that really matter to me.  

 this morning I got in the car and started running errands.  you know.. to keep myself busy.  that way I don't have to face these eyes that are so eager to let the tears out that they burn.  if I'm in public then I won't cry (I hope) so I'll just stay busy.   

I felt like I could HEAR God saying to me -- go home.  get alone with me.  I have something to tell you.

 So I did.  I came home.  I unloaded my car, unpacked and put away the ridiculous amount of stuff I got at Sam's, and sat down.  and here's what I read:

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears.  He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. Zephaniah 3:17

And here's what I heard.

My God is LIVING in my house.  He SEES how I'm feeling.  He KNOWS me.  He UNDERSTANDS me.  He CARES. and He is a MIGHTY SAVIOR.  He is my KEEPER.  He LOVES me.  He wants to PROTECT Me.  He takes DELIGHT in ME.  and here it is.  are you ready for it?

With his love, he will calm all your fears.

Is it true? 
He knows how afraid I am that I am going to be in this funk all summer like I was last year.. and He has a plan?  

Halleluiah!

Today I am thankful for God's word.  For His living, active, speaking word.  I am thankful that it has a message for me.  and I am thankful that I got it.

So this minute I am choosing to be happy.  I am choosing to believe that God is watching and waiting to fulfill whatever it is I need.  I don't even know.  But he does.  

And that makes what I see through my eyes clear even through tears.

well it's been a while..

it's been a few weeks since I last posted.   I've been to London, England then to Paris, France, and then Calgary, Lake Louise and Banff Canada.  I've gotten a few stamps in my passport.  and I've made amazing memories. 

although I'm glad to be home, I've been reflecting on things I've seen and experienced. 

one thing that stands out to me is how different we all are.  in different parts of the world - in different parts of town.. none of us are the same.  and then I am amazed that God loves us all and sees us all as we are - different.  He knows us - He gives us different gifts, wants, hopes, and He meets our needs.  He listens to us individually and takes care of us. 

get on a crowded subway where there are 3 or 4 languages mixed throughout the car and look around you - the different styles of clothing, haircuts, shoes...the shapes of people, their hands, their eyes.   and just in that small space it's astounding.  and then get off the subway and near the entrance to the station, most likely you'll see someone who is homeless - living on whatever they collect throughout the day.

there were a couple of times that I would be looking around - just noticing the differences around me - and this scripture would come to my mind:

"every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.." (romans 14:11)

all of us.  we'll all be on level ground at the cross.

every. 
knee.
will.
bow.
every.
tongue.
will.
confess. 


I'm home now.
and it's Eastertime. 

weren't we just snowed in?   how is spring here already?

I've heard God speaking to me - regularly - in the past few weeks about stepping up my time commitment to Him.  So I'm beginning this Easter.   this is Holy Week.. what better time to begin to honor Him more with my time.  to stay awake in the garden, if you will.

I better be prepared.
and that's what I'm seeing through my eyes.

spring break

bags are packed.
camera is charged.
movies are loaded on the ipad.
we're ready to go.

london and paris.  a spring break dream with my girl.

couldn't be more excited.. unless we had our guys going with us..
I'll miss them.

but we shall make the most of every moment.  taking in the sights.  making memories. 
ones we will never forget.

and I will not have a moment that I am not thankful.
we are blessed.

prepare

I walked into my son's room last night to say goodnight.   he didn't know I was at the door.  so I stood there a second and just watched him.  going back and forth.  from his Bible to his journal.. other books right there for reference.  and my heart sang.  I wanted to jump from the doorway to his bed, landing right beside him with a cheer...letting him know that I was feeling the same outburst of pride at that moment as I do when he makes a double play.   I stood there so thankful that this good-looking, strong, athletic, hilarious, studious, 16 year old living in my house was also seeking to be a man after God's heart. 
no one was watching.
no one was pushing.
he had chosen to go into his room, turn off the tv, the xbox live, and the radio and just get along with God. 
and I am thankful.
thankful because I know there's nothing in this world I can do to deepen his personal relationship with Christ - that's up to him. 
and because I know that there's nothing in this world that will prepare him any better for what life will throw him than deepening his relationship with Christ - and when he's in the middle of life's muck, it's late in the game to begin to get to know Christ.

I know.  I've been there.  and I see him taking daily preparing to walk strong in his faith. 
and it's a good view from my eyes.

get serious.

I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. “When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. “When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. “Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s Decree. 
Jeremiah 29:11-13 the message

is this a promise, or what?  God said.. "When you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed."

get serious.

He promised to make sure we're not disappointed.  He knows what He's doing.  He knows what we hope for and He wants to fulfill our heart's desire.  

could it be that's He's just waiting for us to get serious?

 

the least of these

"Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'" (matthew 25:37-40-msg)

I woke up this morning with this scripture rolling in my mind.  I'd like to think it's because Jesus is reminding me of the people who were "overlooked and ignored" and I noticed.  maybe He's thanking me.  I'd like to think He's giving me props.

but I wonder if He's setting me up today.  you know.. opening my eyes before I get bombarded.  I wonder if He just wanted me to have it fresh on my mind before I go out into a world of 'overlooked and ignored".   today.

I come in contact with them all the time.  sometimes I wish I could put on glasses that flash a little one-liner over every person's head as I look at them.  just a phrase that gives me a clue.

..looking for a friend..

..fighting addiction..

..missing her mom..

..wishing he could die..

that way I'd just know what they're looking for.  I wouldn't have to guess.

if there's one thing I've learned, it's that you can't ever guess what someone's going through.  it's impossible to know all of a story just by looking at a person.  I mean, I've met some people who look good.  they put on expensive perfume and lipstick and bat their long eyelashes -- but inside they hate who they are -- and they have deep, deep hurts. 

I'm sometimes amazed at how long a 'cover' can last. 
but then again.. who of us wants our true 'self' to show all the time.  we all have days we are less than our best and we've learned to disguise well.. especially women. 
we are masters.

so for me this morning, I wonder if Christ has come to remind me that sometimes the 'least of these' isn't the suspected culprit.  sometimes it's the one who looks like they're ready for a night on the town.  sometimes it's not obvious.

today I pray I'll be able to see things as they are.
that my eyes will become His eyes.
boy... wouldn't that be nice. 


or would it?

I can't believe it.

my daughter got a new iphone4 for her birthday.
2 weeks ago.

yesterday, she was standing in the bathroom talking and when she turned around it flew out of her hand and into the toilet.

she immediately grabbed it and started shaking it - water flinging out both ends.  she held a hairdryer on all of it's "openings" trying to get as much moisture out as possible.
then she completely submerged it in a glass full of rice.

this morning I went in the kitchen, pulled the phone out, re-booted it and it started buzzing with received text messages.  we charged it and it seems to be completely fine.

I don't know if she's the luckiest girl in the world or the smartest.

probably a combination of the two.