it's summertime

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. Zephaniah 3:17

I remember this time last year.  my heart was 'empty' feeling and my mood very down for at least 60 days.  and today I feel it looming.  graduation was this weekend.  when you work at a university that's buzzing all the time and you develop real relationships, there is a deep void when they move on.  it's not even just the feeling of people leaving.. it's the crash after the job is "done".  I actually wouldn't trade this feeling - because I know I have it because of my investment.  but I do NOT want to spend the summer wallowing (no better word for it) in my depression.  I want to enjoy my time off.  accomplish some things at home.  develop an exercise program that works for me.  love my family.  strengthen my marriage.  take care of the things that really matter to me.  

 this morning I got in the car and started running errands.  you know.. to keep myself busy.  that way I don't have to face these eyes that are so eager to let the tears out that they burn.  if I'm in public then I won't cry (I hope) so I'll just stay busy.   

I felt like I could HEAR God saying to me -- go home.  get alone with me.  I have something to tell you.

 So I did.  I came home.  I unloaded my car, unpacked and put away the ridiculous amount of stuff I got at Sam's, and sat down.  and here's what I read:

For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears.  He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. Zephaniah 3:17

And here's what I heard.

My God is LIVING in my house.  He SEES how I'm feeling.  He KNOWS me.  He UNDERSTANDS me.  He CARES. and He is a MIGHTY SAVIOR.  He is my KEEPER.  He LOVES me.  He wants to PROTECT Me.  He takes DELIGHT in ME.  and here it is.  are you ready for it?

With his love, he will calm all your fears.

Is it true? 
He knows how afraid I am that I am going to be in this funk all summer like I was last year.. and He has a plan?  

Halleluiah!

Today I am thankful for God's word.  For His living, active, speaking word.  I am thankful that it has a message for me.  and I am thankful that I got it.

So this minute I am choosing to be happy.  I am choosing to believe that God is watching and waiting to fulfill whatever it is I need.  I don't even know.  But he does.  

And that makes what I see through my eyes clear even through tears.