If God is for us..

Romans 8:31b
If God is for us, who can be against us?

Who?

Really, no one. 

I can hardly believe tomorrow is the last day of 2011 and there's a new year beginning.  When your 16 year old says "where is time going?" you know time is flying.. 

As I think about the months ahead, the accomplishments to be had in 2012, the unknown we'll have to face, the questions that will be answered, the changes that will happen - I have nothing but thankfulness that God is on my side. 

If we trust in Him, have faith in His provision, give Him our days, and follow Him closely, nothing can come our way that He is not big enough to conquer.

If God is for us (and He is!) then we have nothing to fear.  whew..

The end of Christmas for another year

Today was the day we took down all the Christmas decorations in our house.  The mood was a little melancholy around here.  well... a lot.  My mom surprised me by coming over to help - and 2 more hands are always welcome.  My daughter reminded me that we only have 1 more Christmas while our son is still at home and she was dreading this one being over... I was ok with wrapping things up and putting it all in the attic for another 11 months until she said that.  Just the thought of only having one more Christmas of all of us living under the same roof makes me want to crawl up under a blanket and have a good cry.  It doesn't seem possible that this many years are gone.  I know we'll still be together for the holidays.. it will just be different.  And different can be good.  I have to keep telling myself that.

On another note, my mind is racing.  I've been having some "female" health problems.  I had an ultrasound 2 days before Christmas and I am going to a specialist two days from now to get the results and a plan.  I'm nervous.  I think what I'm going through is par for the course of aging.. but I just need to hear it from the expert.  I am so hopeful that he's going to tell me I just need to have a simple procedure done and everything will be back to normal (or the new normal).  But I admit my mind still wanders into the what-if's.  I just don't want the "c" word to be a part of our lives.  So until Thursday morning I wait and I pray. 

It's been a long day.  A productive day.  But mostly a long day. 

kids..

Never a day passes that I am not thankful for these two kids in my house.  They are amazing.  In just two months, they'll be 17 and 15 and the joy the bring to our lives grows every day.  I don't know how God saw fit to send them to our family, but we scored.

They are funny.  kind.  loving.  respectful.  Did I say funny?   I hear them talking and horsing around in the other room.. or I sit on the sofa and they laugh at each other until they fall in the floor and I am laughing on the outside but on the inside I can hardly keep from crying.  They are tears of thankfulness.  I love them so much.

They just finished their first semester of their junior and freshman year and both of them knocked their grades out of the park.  I realized the week of their finals I really hadn't paid much attention to their grades all semester.. I'm sure glad they did.  I'm so proud of their diligence and their personal pride in their work.  I'm thankful they don't struggle in school.  It hasn't always been that way and I am grateful.

They have great friends.  I'm thankful they both have the ability and confidence to choose wisely.  They have fun hobbies and lots of laughter with their friends.  I am so glad they enjoy this part of high school - knowing that they will really make lifetime friends in college. 

I think about what kind of husband that funny, sensitive, caring, practical joker son of mine will be.  And what kind of wife this fashionista, organized, loving, thoughtful daughter will be.  Whoever God is saving them for is so lucky.  I pray they will know. 

They have a desire to know God more and grow deep in His direction and be the kind of people He wants them to be.  I see Him transforming them right before my eyes.  And it is beautiful.

So this Saturday morning, I woke up thankful.  I love them.  I cherish every second I spend with them.  And I will fall at the feet of Jesus some day, overwhelmed with gratitude, that He trusted me enough to let me be their mother.

I'm not near the woman I would have trusted with these treasures - I have a deep responsibility.  Through my eyes.

there's a first time for everything

I'm pretty sure I haven't ever had a day that I stayed in my pajamas all day.. I mean, without being sick.
That is, until today.
Today I woke up about 7am.  I grabbed my Bible and my computer and worked on a little something I'm putting together for 2012 (I'll show you later..)
I painted on another Christmas project I'm working on.. did a couple of loads of laundry.. loaded the dishwasher and got some chicken out of the freezer to thaw for dinner.
I sat in my favorite spot in the house for quite a while (our sectional with both ottomans pushed up in the middle together to make a big square) and surfed pinterest, facebook, twitter, and my favorite  blogs while I flipped the tv channels back and forth from one Christmas movie to another.  I made some peppermint bark (is that stuff not amazing? .. and so easy), read some magazines with my daughter and pretty much vegged out all day.  I did make a wonderful chicken & rice dish tonight I found on pinterest.  It was a hit with my family. 

Tonight we watched The Help.  What a movie.  Isn't it great?

Emma Stone does an outstanding job and I adore her character's courage.
I hate the thought of people being made to feel beneath others because of the color of their skin.  It's pathetic.

I never want to make someone feel inferior.
For any reason at all.

But certainly not for a reason they have no control over.

That's all for me today.  It's been a great day.  There aren't many chances I get to spend the day doing absolutely anything I feel like doing.  I sure hope it happens again before another 40 years passes by.

finding the good

So I'm not so great at blogging.
7 months?
Really?

I'll skip what I've been doing and get right to the point.
Thanksgiving just past and Christmas is in the air.. and I've been sick at home for a few days.  A recipe for too much thinking..

Rewind about 5 years ago to a very hurtful time in our family's life.. I won't bore you with the details - but just say it was a heartbreaking, frustrating time.  We left comfortable to go to unknown and new and in the end we were hurt and betrayed.  I really haven't held a grudge.. but it's a bitter memory.  I'm over it.. or at least I say I am.. until I have to somehow face it.

Something dawned on me last week.  As I was thinking of all the things I have to be thankful for, I began to think about my friends.  I have some good ones.  Dear ones.  As I listed the ones I spend the most time with, the ones I depend on, I realized many of those friendships were born in that place that ended so hurtful.  I think this is it for me.  No more wallowing in my frustration and hurt and regret from those years I've seen as lost.

A memory of time that has only given me hurt and aggravation when I think back will from now on give me a new resolve of thankfulness.

The truth is, I don't know what I'd do without these people in my life.  And without that time in our lives, we might not even know them.

So for me it was worth it.  I will remember the good.  I will think of the excitement of doing something new and I will forever believe it was right.  We walked where we were supposed to walk.  I will not regret.  I will not allow one more bitter thought to occupy my mind.

It's been 5 years and for the first time I have become thankful for that trial.  Finally.
Sometimes it takes me a while.